Chapter 5
WHEN PAN ZHI’S CALL came in, Jiang Cheng was deeply asleep, practically in hibernation. His cell phone rang for a long time before he finally picked it up, groggy.
“Hmm?”
“Fuck, I knew it,” Pan Zhi said. “Open your dog eyes and see what time it is.”
“Is it four o’clock?” Having regained consciousness, Jiang Cheng held the phone in front of his face to look at the time. His eyes hadn’t woken up yet, though, and everything was blurry.
“It’s already three-thirty!” Pan Zhi said. “I knew you’d be like this, so I’m calling you early.”
“There’s still time.” Jiang Cheng sat up. “I’ll be waiting for you outside the exit gates.”
“Which exit gate?” Pan Zhi asked.
“There’s only one exit.” The window was so dirty it might as well have been frosted glass, but he could see the weather was pretty good today;
everything was draped in a layer of glittering gold. “Talk later.”
He rolled out of bed and got dressed, feeling much better than he did yesterday. Other than not getting quite enough sleep, the all-over unpleasant feeling from yesterday was gone, and so was the accompanying crankiness that made him want to beat up anyone he laid eyes on.
Checking the time, he realized that he’d been sleeping since yesterday afternoon—an entire day had passed. He felt a little unsteady on his feet.
Li Baoguo wasn’t home; who knew where he’d gone off to. Jiang Cheng found this “home” a little perplexing. When his mom started the process of reversing his adoption, Li Baoguo had keenly made several trips to their city, tail wagging, even though Jiang Cheng hadn’t wanted to see him. But now that he was here, there was no sign of the eagerness to take his son back that Li Baoguo had shown before. And as for the rumored older brother and sister—he’d been here for two days and they were still nowhere to be seen.
Jiang Cheng was not at all interested in this new home, nor did he have any expectations. All the same, it didn’t feel particularly great to wake up every day and find yourself alone in a completely lifeless apartment, no matter what time of day it was. If he hadn’t been in a low-rise building, he would’ve thought it was some ancient hut. The whole place was suffused with a sense of decay.
That was also the reason he didn’t want Pan Zhi to stay here. His old room had been clean and immaculate—he’d even had a piano. The contrast would have Pan Zhi sobbing his eyes out for the length of his visit.
Frankly, though, even without seeing this place, the state of the East Station alone would be enough to make Pan Zhi weep.
***
“Fuck.” Dragging a large suitcase and carrying a large backpack, Pan Zhi exclaimed at the first sight of Jiang Cheng. “Ahh—this place is kind of unbearable!”
“You should head back, then.” Jiang Cheng pointed at the ticket booth.
“Hurry up, go get your ticket.”
“What happened to our brotherly bond?!” Pan Zhi lamented. “I came all this way, dragging all this luggage just to see you! Shouldn’t you be touched?!”
“Wow. I’m so touched,” Jiang Cheng said.
Pan Zhi glared at him for a long time, then finally opened his arms. “I really was starting to miss you.”
Jiang Cheng went over and gave him a hug. “I haven’t had a chance to.”
“Do you know why I’m your only friend?” Pan Zhi said as he let go.
“Yes.” Jiang Cheng nodded. “Because you’re a dork.”
He’d had quite a few friends back in his old city, but they were the non-essential kind. They would hang out and idly trudge around town with him, swarming like bees around small conflicts, but would disperse like startled birds if they ran into real trouble.
Pan Zhi was different. They met for the first time in ninth grade and were put in the same class when they started high school the year after. It hadn’t even been three years, but their friendship was as solid as steel. Ever since he’d come to this shitty little city, the only person Jiang Cheng missed was Pan Zhi.
“Hey boss, you know where this address is, right?” Pan Zhi asked the driver when they got into the cab.
“How could I not?” The driver chuckled in response. “It’s the best hotel we got here.”
Jiang Cheng threw Pan Zhi a glance. “You sure know how to pick them.”
“What’s there to pick? They have the most expensive rooms.” Pan Zhi rummaged in his pocket for a while, then finally produced a lighter and placed it in Jiang Cheng’s hand. “Here, do you like it?”
Jiang Cheng looked at the lighter. It was the kind of style he liked:
minimalist and sleek. Two letters were engraved at the very bottom. He leaned in close and squinted. “What’s this you carved here? ‘J.C.’… Like Jesus?”
“J.C., your initials,” Pan Zhi said. “Neat, huh?”
“…Real neat.” Jiang Cheng tucked the lighter away in his pocket. “How long are you staying for?”
“Two days,” Pan Zhi said with a sigh. “School’s starting soon.”
“What’s the big sigh for?”
“It’s just annoying—classes, tests, homework, worksheets.” Pan Zhi frowned. “If I was like you and absorbed everything without even trying, and I ranked in the top ten without even going to class, I wouldn’t be sighing either.”
“Who said I don’t try?” Jiang Cheng gave him a side-eye. “It’s not like you don’t remember any of the times I stayed up all night studying.”
“But the point is, it doesn’t make a difference even if I stay up ten nights in a row,” Pan Zhi whined. He sighed again. “Oh, fuck, I know why I missed you so much. Now that you’re gone, I have no one to show me the answers during tests!”
“Time to drop out,” Jiang Cheng said.
Pan Zhi glared at him. “Where’s your humanity?”
Jiang Cheng grinned and didn’t answer.
Pan Zhi might not have been happy with this little city, but he was satisfied with the hotel. When they arrived at his room, he carefully inspected the bed, the shower, and the toilet before announcing his verdict: “Not bad.”
“Let’s go get something to eat.” Jiang Cheng checked the time.
“Barbecue?”
“Mhm.” Pan Zhi opened his suitcase. “I have another present for you.”
“Hm?” Jiang Cheng sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Why don’t you take a guess?” Pan Zhi reached inside his luggage and rummaged around.
Jiang Cheng swept his gaze over the suitcase. It was stuffed to the brim with small and large packages of various snacks and food; it didn’t look like there was room for anything else. “A tin whistle,” he said.
“Shit.” Pan Zhi laughed as he pulled out a long black leather pouch from the very bottom. “Was that too easy, or are we just too in sync?”
“It was way too easy.” Jiang Cheng accepted the pouch and pulled out a black tin whistle, turning it over in his hands. “It’s nice.”
“A Susato, in D,” Pan Zhi said. “I bought the right one, right? Isn’t it exactly the same as your old one?”
“Yes.” Jiang Cheng gave it a try. “Thanks.”
“Don’t smash it again—this one’s a gift from me.”
“Yeah.” Jiang Cheng put the tin whistle back in its pouch.
He wasn’t in the habit of smashing things out of anger. After all, he had been trained in the virtue of restraint for nearly two decades. He might get into fights and beat people up, but it was only rarely that he’d take his temper out on inanimate objects. The only reason he’d broken his tin whistle was because there was no other outlet for his rage; it wasn’t like he could go have it out with his old man.
Since he wasn’t going home tonight, he hesitated for a moment over whether to text Li Baoguo or give him a call. He eventually settled on calling, and Li Baoguo took a long time to pick up.
“HELLO!”
He could tell from the noise in the background that Li Baoguo was playing mahjong again. Jiang Cheng didn’t know what to think. He wondered if his mom knew about this particular habit. But then again, considering the family dynamic had been ruined by his very existence, perhaps it wasn’t a big deal to her at all.
“My friend is here to visit me, so I’m not going back tonight,” he said. “I’ll be staying at the hotel.”
“Ah, a friend visiting?” Li Baoguo coughed a few times. “Go play with your friend, then. What are you calling me for? I thought something happened to you.”
“…Bye then.”
Li Baoguo simply hung up without another word.
“This dad of yours…” Pan Zhi looked at him. “What kind of person is he?”
“Dunno. He smokes, coughs, snores, and gambles.”
“But you smoke too—and coughing? Everyone coughs sometimes…” Pan Zhi attempted to analyze the man. “Snor—” “Are you done?” Jiang Cheng cut him off.
Pan Zhi waved his hand. “Barbecue!”
The barbecue wasn’t anything special, but Pan Zhi enjoyed it immensely.
Jiang Cheng didn’t eat as much as he had the day before—after all, he was a delicate flower freshly recovered from illness—but even so, coming out of the restaurant, he still felt bloated from eating too much.
“You really are in a bad mood,” Pan Zhi said. “That pork belly was pretty good, but you only ate a little…” “Good eye.” Jiang Cheng nodded. His mood wasn’t so low that he had no appetite, but he didn’t want Pan Zhi to know he threw up the day before on top of running a fever.
“Let’s walk for a bit.” Pan Zhi patted his stomach. “Is there anything fun to do around here?”
“No,” Jiang Cheng said. After a pause, he added, “I don’t know.”
“Hey, where’s your new school at?” Pan Zhi said suddenly. “Shall we go check it out?”
“Now?” Jiang Cheng tugged at his collar. “Nope.”
“Tomorrow, then. It’s winter break anyway, it’s not like there’s gonna be anyone there. Let’s go see what the campus looks like.” Pan Zhi slung an arm around his shoulder. “Didn’t you go take a look when you filed the paperwork or anything?”
“It’s not like you don’t know whether I’ve been or not.” Jiang Cheng was growing a little irritated.
Pan Zhi chuckled. “Oh, right, you just got here.”
His new life and environment exasperated and unsettled Jiang Cheng, but the presence of Pan Zhi brought him a little solace. In this strange and unknown territory, there was finally a familiar person by his side.
Jiang Cheng stayed up most of the night talking with Pan Zhi, though he could hardly remember what either of them said. It was just like the days they spent chatting on the edge of the school field, talking about nothing and everything. It didn’t really matter what they talked about—the important thing was having someone he could confide in.
They finally dozed off for a while just before dawn, only to be rudely awoken a little past eight by the blaring horn of a semi-truck passing outside.
“What the… Aren’t we in the city?” Pan Zhi held on tightly to the duvet.
“Since when can trucks drive straight up to the entrance of a hotel?”
“Dunno.” Jiang Cheng kept his eyes shut.
“They have breakfast. Should I get them to send it up now?” Pan Zhi asked him.
“Sure,” Jiang Cheng said. “Did you sleep?”
“I might have,” Pan Zhi said, laughing. “What’s the plan for today?”
“Let’s go check out the school together,” Jiang Cheng said. “Then we can see if there’s anything fun to do around here, but I doubt we’ll find anything in the dead of winter.”
“It’s all right. I’m the kind of guy who’s very focused on mental fulfillment,” Pan Zhi said. “I came here to see you, so I’m good.”
“How about I take a nap later, and you can pull up a stool and keep watching me?” Jiang Cheng said.
“Hey.” Pan Zhi leaned in and stared at him for a while. “Have you not been talking very much the last couple of days?”
“Why?” Jiang Cheng yawned.
“You’re talking more than you used to. Have you been bottling stuff up?” Pan Zhi asked.
Jiang Cheng considered it. “…Maybe.”
Maybe Pan Zhi was right. Before he got here, Jiang Cheng had had nothing to say, and no one to say it to.
They located the new school on the map; it wasn’t very far from Li Baoguo’s place. As for what kind of school it was, Jiang Cheng hadn’t looked it up, and wasn’t particularly eager to find out.
There was a lot of bureaucratic nonsense involved in the process of transferring high schools. From the minute his parents began the administrative process without a hint of reluctance, he had lost interest in practically everything in his life. He couldn’t even get his spirits up for a fight. It was as though something had been wrenched out of his body. He was a pile of mud looking for an appropriate hole in the ground to fill.
After looking up the route, Pan Zhi dragged him to the bus stop.
“Did you know that the view from a bus window shows you the most authentic side of a city?” Pan Zhi said.
Jiang Cheng gave him a look. “Mm-hm.”
“Don’t you think that’s very profound?” Pan Zhi was rather proud of himself.
“Mm-hm.” Jiang Cheng continued looking at him.
Pan Zhi held his gaze for a while. “Oh,” he said at last. “You were the one who said that.”
Jiang Cheng shook his hand.
There weren’t that many people on the bus. The daily commute in a small city was much more relaxed; people weren’t pressed up against each other like sardines and nobody’s hair got plastered all over another passenger’s face. The bus never got so packed that it couldn’t fit another person, and no one ran the risk of getting physically squeezed out of a crowded bus.
“This is much more comfortable than back home.” Pan Zhi expressed his approval upon getting off the bus. He checked the map on his phone. “Fourth High… Go straight for five hundred yards, then make a turn.”
“They probably won’t let people go inside.” Jiang Cheng tugged on his collar.
“Then we’ll just look around the outside and take a walk around the neighborhood. This is going to be your main haunt for the foreseeable future.” Pan Zhi held his phone up to Jiang Cheng’s face and tapped on the screen.
Jiang Cheng glanced at Pan Zhi. “What are you doing?”
“Just taking a photo,” Pan Zhi said. “When Yu Xin heard I was coming here she cried on her knees for me to take a photo of you for her. Thing is, it’s really hard for me to turn a girl down…” “She bribed you, didn’t she?”
“Yes.” Pan Zhi nodded solemnly.
Jiang Cheng failed to hold in his laugh. “You’re shameless.”
Pan Zhi snapped another couple of photos of him with his phone. “Are the two of you really through? I thought she was all right.”
“There wasn’t much point to it.”
“Is it because she’s a girl?”
Pan Zhi was still holding his phone up, keeping him in frame, like he was filming an interview. Jiang Cheng gave him a look and didn’t answer.
“I think…it’d be better for you to get with a girl if possible. It’s too difficult to find a guy, and society right now isn’t exactly the most accepting.”
Pan Zhi put away his phone. “Don’t be fooled by the flocks of fujoshis on the internet—they hardly count for anything when you toss them into the real world.”
“You must’ve been bottling up your words for a while too, huh?”
“Ever since winter break started and you disappeared, I haven’t really talked to anyone.” Pan Zhi clutched his chest. “I’ve been so emotionally repressed that my man-boobs grew from an A to a B.”
“I’ll buy you a lingerie set before you go home,” Jiang Cheng said.
“We’re here.” Pan Zhi pointed in front of them. “Fourth High… The outside looks pretty big—bigger than our school, at least.”
The front gates were open. The guard glanced at the two of them when they walked through, but didn’t say anything.
“He doesn’t care?” Pan Zhi said.
“You want him to care?” Jiang Cheng side-eyed him. “Are you a masochist or what?”
“Come on, let’s take a walk.” Pan Zhi lifted his arms and stretched.
“It’s…” Jiang Cheng glanced around the grounds. “Pretty big.”
“Has to be. Our school is smack-dab in the middle of the city, where every inch of space is worth its weight in gold. They couldn’t expand even if they wanted to,” Pan Zhi said. “Look how great you have it here—you probably have a big sports field, too… Should we check out the gym?”
“Mm-hm,” Jiang Cheng hummed his agreement.
The thing Jiang Cheng and Pan Zhi cared about the most was the basketball court. Jiang Cheng’s old school only had a couple of indoor basketball courts; even the soccer field had been plowed over to make space for new lecture buildings. Neither of them played soccer, but they still resented the decision.
The fields at Fourth High were much more comfortable in comparison.
There was a soccer field where a bunch of people were playing a match, even though it was freezing outside. Next to the field were two outdoor basketball courts, and even one for volleyball.
Pan Zhi nudged Jiang Cheng with his arm. “There are indoor courts, too;
wanna go check them out?”
The wretched mood that Jiang Cheng had been stewing in over the past few days was noticeably soothed by the Fourth High campus. Compared to Li Baoguo’s home and the street where it sat, these wide-open spaces put him at ease, like he could finally catch his breath again.
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then exhaled, patting Pan Zhi’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”
The indoor courts weren’t that big, but there were spaces for volleyball, badminton, and basketball, even if the markings on the floor occasionally overlapped with each other. Both basketball courts were occupied, and everyone looked over when they noticed them walk in.
Pan Zhi stopped walking, but Jiang Cheng ignored the stares they were getting. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and leisurely sauntered over to the few chairs placed courtside to take a seat. It had been a long time since he’d last played, so he wanted to scratch his itch by watching others. The guys on the court eyed them for a while, then went back to playing.
“Is this the school team holding practice?” Pan Zhi asked as he sat down beside him.
“Can’t be,” Jiang Cheng said. “They’re total amateurs.”
“Wanna go shoot some hoops?” Pan Zhi said with a smile. “We can team up.”
Jiang Cheng stuck his foot in front of Pan Zhi and wiggled it. He wasn’t wearing basketball shoes today.
“Ay,” Pan Zhi sighed as he leaned back with his arms behind his head.
“Who knows when we’ll be able to play together again?”
“Don’t go changing your vibe. Acting emo doesn’t suit you,” Jiang Cheng said. Somebody on the court landed a smooth three-pointer, and he called out, not very loudly, “Nice shot!”
The person glanced at him, smiling, and clapped a hand over his fist in a salute.
Even though he wasn’t playing, just sitting courtside with Pan Zhi and watching people play brought him a little respite. It cut away all the threads of irritation from his mind… As long as he didn’t stop to think about the bleak life he’d go back to once Pan Zhi left tomorrow.
He was so engrossed in the game that he didn’t even notice when more people entered the gym—at least, not until the guys on the court all stopped and looked at the door with complicated expressions.
“Why do I feel like there’s going to be some action?” Pan Zhi whispered next to him, excited.
“What…” Jiang Cheng turned to the door and froze. “Action?”
One, two, three, four, five, six—a total of six people had walked in.
Jiang Cheng thought he might dislocate his jaw from the shock. It was the Fresh Out of Jail quartet, followed by the guy who’d been manning the cash register when he bought water the other day. Bringing up the rear, wearing a baseball cap that covered up the snazzy music symbols on his head, was Gu Fei.
Jiang Cheng was a little impressed with his own ability to remember these guys’ faces—especially considering he’d been practically delirious with fever the last time he saw most of them. It was truly a miracle to simultaneously run into the same six strangers in this strange city at a strange school.
He must’ve been infected by Pan Zhi’s enthusiasm, he thought, because he found himself watching the guys approach with the anticipation of someone waiting for the curtains to open at a show. It looked like they’d come here to play: Gu Fei wore track pants and basketball shoes, while one of the other guys had a ball in his hand.
Someone spoke up on the court. “Da-Fei?”
“Uh huh,” Gu Fei answered.
“What are you doing here?” the guy asked.
“I’m here to play, of course,” Gu Fei said. His voice was level and calm, without even a hint of hostility.
“Are…all of you joining us?” the guy asked, after hesitating for a beat.
“The sick, weak, injured, and elderly are staying on the sidelines,” Gu Fei said, then took off his jacket.
As he turned, about to toss it onto the bench, he spotted Jiang Cheng sitting there and promptly choked on his own spit. He broke into a coughing fit, staring at Jiang Cheng the whole time.
Jiang Cheng contained his disappointed expression. He’d wanted to see some action, but the action had ended before it even had the chance to start.
“What a coincidence,” he said.
“Good morning,” said Gu Fei.
“Are you together?” someone on the court asked.
“No,” Jiang Cheng replied.
Out of the six people in Gu Fei’s group, three of them decided to play, while the remaining three came to sit beside them. The one from the cash register sat down next to Jiang Cheng and extended a hand.
“I’m Li Yan.”
“Jiang Cheng.” Jiang Cheng slapped his palm lightly, then pointed to Pan Zhi. “My bro, Pan Zhi.”
“You both Fourth High students?” Li Yan looked the two of them over.
“Haven’t seen you guys around before.”
“I will be.” Jiang Cheng didn’t want to go into too much detail. “Are you all from Fourth High?”
The two guys behind them started laughing. Perhaps it wasn’t intentional, but their voices were tinged with a familiar mockery. Li Yan turned and glanced back at them.
“Do we look like students?”
“Who knows.” Jiang Cheng was a little annoyed. “I don’t make a habit of staring at every person I come across.”
Li Yan’s face suddenly dropped. He directed his attention back to the people on the court, no longer paying any attention to Jiang Cheng.
The guys behind them must not have perceived the tense atmosphere, as one of them piped up, “Da-Fei is in second year.”
“Oh,” was Jiang Cheng’s reply.
What a coincidence indeed.