Chapter 3 THE SHINY HEAD between the store shelves belonged to Gu Miao— although now, post-haircut, it was difficult to tell that it belonged to a little girl.
She had on a boy’s-style blue-gray puffer jacket, and if it weren’t for her eyes, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have recognized her.
Behind her stood Gu Fei with a cigarette in his mouth and an electric shaver in his hand, paused in mid-air. He was surprised to see Jiang Cheng here, apparently.
He looked different from when Jiang Cheng had seen him yesterday.
Wearing a sweater and joggers, he looked relaxed and comfortable. His appearance and mannerisms differed dramatically from his four friends by the door. He was eye-catching, the kind of person who stood out immediately in a crowd.
Emanating from every pore of his body was the message: I’m the top dog.
Personally, Jiang Cheng never thought of himself as someone who looked like a bad guy, though he scared even himself sometimes when his temper flared. He assumed he’d just never gotten over the transitory affliction of adolescent rebellion and had turned it into a chronic condition. But today, when all he wanted to do was purchase a bottle of water in peace, he was pretty sure he looked completely harmless. So when all eyes in the convenience-store-pretending-to-be-a-supermarket simultaneously converged on him with a silent expression that all but screamed “you’re looking for trouble,” he was more than a little perplexed.
In the midst of this tension, a bit of ash fell from the tip of Gu Fei’s cigarette onto Gu Miao’s newly shiny scalp, and she ducked her head and brushed at it roughly with both hands.
Jiang Cheng didn’t let the attention get to him. Growing up, he had never shied away from trouble and wasn’t intimidated by any “what are you looking at” stares. Especially when he wasn’t feeling well, mentally or physically. He walked to the shelf to grab himself a bottle of water. But when he glanced up, he saw Gu Fei standing on the other side of the shelves.
After a brief exchange of eye contact through the gap between two cans of chips, Gu Fei finally said, “Welcome.”
“This your family’s store?” Jiang Cheng asked.
Gu Fei nodded. “Yeah.”
“What a coincidence.”
Since Gu Fei said nothing in response, and Jiang Cheng didn’t feel much like making more small talk at the moment, he tossed the bottle gently in his hand and headed straight to the checkout.
A young man walked behind the cash register. Propping his hands on the counter, he leaned forward to stare at Jiang Cheng. “Two bucks.”
Jiang Cheng swept a glance at him. The “Fresh Out of Jail” quartet were still in their respective spots. This new guy was the one who’d been standing next to Gu Fei when he first came in.
He hadn’t noticed earlier in the dim lighting, but under the fluorescent ceiling light that hung over the counter, a cursory glance showed him a rather pretty face, almost feminine featured. Aside from the long, tapered eyes, the rest of his facial features actually made him seem more like Gu Miao’s older sister… no, brother. He looked the part more than Gu Fei did, anyway.
Jiang Cheng handed over a ten-yuan bill from his pocket. The young man looked down and punched it into the cash register, then gave him another look.
“You Da-Fei’s friend? I haven’t seen you around.”
“No.” Jiang Cheng popped a couple of pills from the pack of cold medicine he’d just bought and washed them down with some water.
“No?” The guy’s gaze traveled over his shoulder and landed somewhere behind him. He placed the change on the counter. “Ah.”
Jiang Cheng threw the half-finished bottle of water into the trash can by the door, then lifted the heavy curtains to go outside.(2)
“Geez, you should’ve gotten a smaller size.” The cashier’s voice sounded from behind. “How wasteful.”
“…I didn’t think about it,” Jiang Cheng said.
The guy was right, of course. Why hadn’t he gotten the smaller bottle? He wasn’t going to finish it anyway. Must’ve been the intensifying soreness all over his body short-circuiting his brain.
He stood on the steps outside, having trouble remembering where he was heading before he went into the store… Should he go back? Back where? Li Baoguo’s—no, his new home?
At the mere thought of the disgusting state of the apartment and Li Baoguo’s thunderous snores, he felt a tightness in his chest that crawled all the way up his throat. He suddenly found it difficult to get air into his lungs—it was like he couldn’t breathe at all.
Bright stars spread across the black background of his vision.
Having lost control of his body, Jiang Cheng felt himself drop to the ground, spinning like a sack of flour. With his last remaining shred of consciousness, he sighed.
This should be good.
Gu Miao rubbed her smooth head as she walked toward the door, skateboard in hand.
“Your hat.” Gu Fei picked up his jacket from a chair, pulling out a green knitted cap decorated with little flowers from where it was bunched up in one of the pockets, and tossed it onto her head.
Gu Miao yanked it roughly over her ears. Eyes on the ground, she went out the door…then immediately came back in, slapping the counter.
“What is it?” Li Yan leaned over the cash register and tugged on her hat, then raised his eyes at Gu Fei. “You really went and knitted her a green hat?”(3)
“She picked the color herself.” Gu Fei put the electric shaver away and turned his attention to Gu Miao. “What is it?”
Gu Miao pointed at the door.
“Is there a dog?” Gu Fei kicked his chair to one side and walked over, lifting the curtain.
The baller who’d bought a bottle of water just to throw half of it away was currently ass up on the sidewalk outside the store, hugging the ground with his face.
“Hey.” Gu Fei walked out and nudged Jiang Cheng’s leg with his toes. He didn’t even know the guy’s name. “You all right?”
The baller didn’t move. Gu Fei bent down to study his face where it was pressed against the ground, noticing that the tip of his nose was flattened against the sidewalk. He carefully lifted Jiang Cheng’s head and tilted it slightly so he could breathe, then turned and shouted into the store.
“Hey! We got a man down!”
Li Yan was the first one out the door. He froze at the scene before him.
“Was he stabbed?”
“What, were you the one who stabbed him?” Gu Fei touched the baller’s face and felt its scorching temperature. “He’s burning up.”
“You can pass out from a fever?” Li Yan was clearly a little stunned. He turned to look at the others who had followed him out. “What do we do? Call an ambulance?”
“I say don’t bother.” Liu Fan looked around. “If some hypervigilant auntie sees and calls the cops, they’ll blame it on us for sure. I only just got out yesterday…” “Drag him inside,” Gu Fei said.
“Drag… You know him, right?” Liu Fan asked.
“Just do as you’re told. Even if they don’t know each other, Da-Fei touched him just now,” Li Yan said. “If some auntie calls the cops, do you think they won’t think to ask us about it?”
“He’s passed out from a fever is all. Your non-existent screenwriting career must be a real disappointment to your mom and dad.” Gu Fei flipped Jiang Cheng over. “Hurry it up.”
Together, the bunch of them carried the unconscious body into the store and left him in the spare room Gu Fei usually used for breaks and naps.
“Tch, I didn’t even get to sleep properly in this bed,” Li Yan said once everyone else was out. “This weakling who popped out of nowhere got to enjoy it first.”
“You go out there and eat shit, and I’ll tuck you in right away,” said Gu Fei.
“You’ve got no shame,” said Li Yan.
“And you’ve got the most shame, all right?” Gu Fei gave him a shove.
“Now get out.”
“Hey.” Li Yan resisted and stayed where he was. Turning, he lowered his voice. “The guy said you’re not friends?”
“Mhm.” Gu Fei pushed a little harder and Li Yan stumbled out. Gu Fei followed and closed the door behind them. “He’s the one who found Er-Miao yesterday.”
“That was him?” Li Yan was a little surprised. “Must be destiny.”
Gu Fei ignored him. He sat down behind the cash register and started playing a game on his phone.
Li Yan leaned over the counter. “He’s pretty handsome,” he said in a low voice.
Gu Fei gave him a look, and Li Yan turned away and didn’t say anything more. Gu Miao came over then and stuck out her hand in front of Gu Fei with her palm spread open, wiggling her fingers.
“Go ahead and eat. Look how much weight you’ve gained in these last couple of months; nobody’s gonna play with you anymore.” Gu Fei took out a ten-yuan bill and pressed it into her hand. “Your face is almost a perfect circle now.”
Gu Miao ignored him. She put the money in her pocket, patted it for good measure, then walked out with skateboard in hand.
“With a bald head like that, no kid is gonna play with her no matter what shape her face is,” Li Yan sighed.
“Nobody plays with her anyway, even when she’s not bald.” Gu Fei kept playing his game. “She’s never had any friends—who’s going to play with a mute?”
“Don’t say that,” Liu Fan said beside them. “It’s not like she really can’t talk. She just won’t talk. What’s the big deal?”
“What’s gonna happen if she goes on like this?” Li Yan sighed again.
“School’s just one thing; if she doesn’t wanna go, then don’t go. But if she’s only willing to talk to Da-Fei, then—” “There’s a high probability the world’s gonna end if you don’t keep worrying about it,” Gu Fei interrupted him. “You should really apply for the Nobel Peace Prize.”
“Fuck you.” Li Yan slapped the counter and pulled up a chair next to Liu Fan.
The store slipped into silence. Liu Fan and the others sitting by the radiator were slowly nodding off to sleep, a glazed look in their eyes. Their facial muscles were starting to droop from relaxation, which made for a rather disturbing scene: three customers in a row had lifted the curtains to come in, only to turn on their heels and leave at the mere sight of them.
“You guys.” Gu Fei rapped his knuckles on the counter. “Get going.”
“Go where?” Li Yan asked.
“I dunno, go wild,” said Gu Fei.
“I don’t feel like going outside, though.” Liu Fan stretched lazily. “Too damn cold and nowhere to go.”
“You’ve been scaring away customers who’ve already stepped through the door.” Gu Fei put a lit cigarette in his mouth.
“I promise, the next person to come in, we’ll hold them here for you.” Liu Fan laughed and clapped his hands together. “We won’t let a single one escape.”
“Hurry up and get out,” Gu Fei said. “Annoying little shits.”
“Go, go, go, go.” Liu Fan tutted and stood up to give the other stools a kick each. “Your Uncle Gu is throwing a fit again—another minute and he’ll come at us with a knife.”
None of the others wanted to move, but they stood up anyway. They put their jackets on and left reluctantly, cursing under their breath all the while.
Li Yan was the last one out the door, but at the last second, he turned around and said, “There’s another one in there. You’re not going to get rid of him?”
Gu Fei just looked back at him silently. Li Yan lifted the curtain and walked out without another word.
After finishing a cigarette, Gu Fei glanced at the clock. He estimated that about twenty minutes had passed. According to standard fainting procedure, the guy should’ve been awake in a fraction of that time.
He pushed open the door to the spare room and peered inside. Mr. Baller was still unconscious, lying there with his eyes closed in the exact same position as before.
“Hey.” Gu Fei walked over and gave him a push. “Don’t die at my place.”
Still, Mr. Baller didn’t move.
For a while, Gu Fei just stood there and stared at him.
Jiang Cheng’s face was a little dirty, but it didn’t take away from the attractiveness of his features. The very slightly downturned eyes gave him a haughty air. According to Gu Fei’s standards—which judged pretty much everybody he met as inadequate—the guy was handsome enough. It was just that their first meeting yesterday had left him unimpressed with the prickly air he had about him—only low-key prickly, but Gu Fei felt it just the same.
After a few minutes of staring, he lifted the covers, rummaged around in Mr. Baller’s pockets, and found his wallet. His ID was slotted among a number of what looked like membership cards.
Jiang Cheng.
He put the wallet back, leaned down, and shouted into Jiang Cheng’s ears, “Hey!”
“Mmm…” Mr. Baller finally stirred and grunted quietly, sounding thoroughly vexed.
Gu Fei gave the edge of the bed a kick and turned to leave.
Jiang Cheng was confused.
When he opened his eyes, it felt like he had amnesia: Who am I? Where is this?
The last thing he could remember was the not-very-clean ground rushing toward him, bringing with it some snow that had been trampled into sludge.
He’d passed out? That was a lifetime first for him.
He sat up and lifted the blanket covering him. When he saw the mud all over his clothes, he immediately grabbed the blanket to check and found a few clumps of mud on it as well. He gave it a few pats in a futile attempt to clean it off. Just as he was considering getting some water to see if he could get the dirt out, his brain suddenly decided to work again.
Who am I?
Jiang Cheng.
Where am I?
No idea.
It was a small but well-kept room, much cleaner than the one Li Baoguo had given him. He threw off the covers and went to open the door.
When he saw the three rows of store shelves outside, he finally realized that he was still in Gu Fei’s store.
Sitting in a recliner by the cash register, Gu Fei glanced up at him for a second, then turned his attention back to his phone. “You’re finally awake.”
“Yeah.” Jiang Cheng patted the dried mud on his clothes. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” Gu Fei’s eyes were glued to his phone. “It might’ve been more trouble if I’d left you out there.”
“Ah.” Jiang Cheng turned and looked back at the small room. “The blanket…got dirty.”
“There’s a sink out back,” Gu Fei said. “You can wash it there.”
“What?” Jiang Cheng was stunned, and a little mad, but couldn’t find an appropriate way to express his emotions. After all, there was nothing logically wrong with Gu Fei’s words.
Gu Fei finally lifted his gaze from the phone screen to scrutinize Jiang Cheng’s face. “Why mention it if you don’t plan to wash it?”
Jiang Cheng said nothing, so they stared at each other in silence.
At first he’d been grateful to Gu Fei for bringing him inside, but Gu Fei’s attitude made it hard for him to express that gratitude. The only reason he didn’t lash out was that he hadn’t entirely recovered from fainting.
After a few more minutes of the staring contest, Gu Fei directed his eyes and his attention back to his mobile game.
Jiang Cheng turned and walked out.
It was nice and sunny outside. The sun was the only source of warmth against the north wind, though it wasn’t much help—it was still freezing cold.
His head was killing him. Jiang Cheng pulled a ski cap out of his pocket and pulled it over his head, along with the hood of his jacket. He checked the time and was glad to see that he’d only been passed out for about half an hour.
Not bad—he hadn’t wasted too much time in the end.
Not that he had a clue what else there was for him to do.
Standing at the edge of the road and looking out to either side of him, he finally decided to continue wandering forward and circle back once he found the connecting lane between the two streets. He didn’t much like the idea of going back to listen to Li Baoguo’s snores, but he had to change his clothes.
As he trudged through the muddy snow, he suddenly felt a little lonely.
There had been many days like this in the past, when he’d spent hours wandering around aimlessly outside, sometimes without going home for days at a time. But he’d never felt loneliness the way he did now.
He wondered why.
Perhaps it was the intense sense of loss from being abandoned and exiled.
Perhaps it was this strange and decrepit environment. Perhaps it was the lack of friends around him, or perhaps…it was simply because he had a cold.
When his phone made a sound, Jiang Cheng pulled it out to see a message from Yu Xin.
- I changed my mind.
He sighed and texted back.
- A lady always keeps her word.
Yu Xin didn’t send another reply—perhaps she was mad that he wasn’t giving her any face, or maybe just preserving her anger for another more suitable moment to blow up on him again.
He returned the phone to his pocket and pinched the bridge of his nose. It hurt like hell, he realized—he hadn’t noticed before. It must’ve smashed into the ground earlier when he faceplanted.
Tsk.
He carefully pinched his nose from bridge to tip to make sure that nothing was broken before sticking his hand back in his pocket. After a few more steps, he saw a small side street up ahead, likely the connecting lane he was looking for.
Suddenly, a green-colored head emerged from the side street and rolled over like a gust of strong wind. By the time Jiang Cheng could make out that the green head was Gu Miao with her skateboard, she had already zoomed past him —so fast he could barely get a look at her.
Ah, skater girl.
He turned for another look. What a cool little girl. Too bad all her hair was gone.
He idly wondered if Gu Fei was really her brother. Even if she got a bad haircut, was it really that hard to find a salon and fix it with a shorter style? Did he really have to shave the whole thing off, especially on a chilly day like this…? Wait, was that a green hat?!
By the time Jiang Cheng had turned around again to confirm what he saw, all that was left of Gu Miao was a distant black dot.
Before he turned back to continue on his way, three bicycles came charging out of the side street. The rickety bikes rattled and clattered as they went, but they were nonetheless very quick.
“Shit, she’s fast!” shouted one of the riders on the rickety bikes.
Jiang Cheng was amazed. Does that mean…Gu Miao is being chased by bullies again?
He didn’t have it in him to even feel sympathy this time around, only an inexplicable annoyance.
What kind of fucked up place is this?!
Li Baoguo was still asleep when Jiang Cheng got back to his new “home.”
Though he had let up somewhat on the snoring, he’d been coughing from the moment Jiang Cheng stepped through the door, hacking and rasping like he was about to cough his lungs out. Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but check on him a couple times, but both times, Li Baoguo’s eyes were closed and he appeared to be sound asleep.
Certainly, this was a skill Jiang Cheng did not possess; if he coughed while he was sleeping, it’d definitely wake him up. This had to be a Li Baoguo specialty.
After he changed, Jiang Cheng wet a towel he got out of his suitcase and wiped his jacket clean. Then, he sat on the bed and stared off into space. He didn’t know what else to do with himself.
Li Baoguo had stopped coughing next door, but his snoring started up again. Jiang Cheng found it hard to pin down his feelings right now. This man was his biological father, his flesh and blood. To think that he was actually born in a home like this was shocking enough. Although he hadn’t met the rest of the family yet, Li Baoguo alone was the perfect embodiment of “EXCITEMENT AHEAD” in all-caps bold font.
Recently he had been careful to avoid thinking about it, but sitting here now, looking at the decay within and without, it was no longer possible to avoid the subject.
A long time ago, he had even discussed the concept of adoption with his parents.
It’s a pointless exercise. Some things are simply carved into your bones; no amount of nurture can overcome it.
He didn’t remember what they had to say on the matter, only what he’d said. His own words were now sharp slaps stinging his own face.
He should’ve known… His younger brother’s personality was just like their parents’: He was sensible, a boy of few words, preferred the quiet, and was an avid reader. Jiang Cheng was the opposite—though it wasn’t like he was a chatterbox, either… Even their neighbor had said so once, that he didn’t seem like part of the same family.
Right… Almost as if the incompatibility was built into him.
A torrent of coughs suddenly erupted from Li Baoguo’s room, like he had choked on something. It went on for a long time without pause. Jiang Cheng thought he must be awake this time, then immediately heard the sound of cursing.
Not long after that, the snores started up again.
Jiang Cheng suddenly felt a rush of fear, a horror that carried with it an intense feeling of suffocation. He stood up and grabbed the keys from the living room so he could make a copy for himself, and perhaps look for a hospital while he was out, so he could see a doctor. He really wasn’t feeling good; perhaps he had a fever.
***
Gu Fei crouched by a flowerbed outside the store, watching Gu Miao zip proudly past him for the third time, as if showing off. The cold air had turned her face almost bright red.
When she passed him for the fourth time, Gu Fei waved at her. Gu Miao made a sharp U-turn and slowly rolled to a stop in front of him.
“It’s time to head home for lunch.” Gu Fei stood up. “Go get ready.”
Gu Miao walked into the store, skateboard in tow, as Gu Fei lit a cigarette and pondered what to eat for lunch. A minute later, he heard Gu Miao screaming from inside the store. Chucking the cigarette, he immediately shot up and raced inside.
The screaming was coming from the bathroom out back. He bolted out to the courtyard behind the store and pushed open the bathroom door. Gu Miao was standing there, screaming at the sink with her hands covering her eyes.
Gu Fei turned off the tap and carried her out of the bathroom, all the while gently patting her back. “Shh… Quiet now. There’s no more water, no water…” Gu Miao stopped screaming. Leaning against his shoulder with her arms around his neck, she said quietly, “Hungry.”
“I’m hungry too.” Gu Fei held her in one arm and picked up the skateboard with his free hand. “Let’s go eat something good.”
[2] In the northeast provinces of China, it’s common to cover doorways with heavy-duty curtains to keep out the cold wind.
[3] A green hat is considered the symbol of a (usually male) cuckold. As such, they’re usually avoided even by people like Gu Miao, to whom the insult wouldn’t apply to.