Chapter 12
JIANG CHENG THOUGHT of himself as kind of a delinquent. He’d always been the guy who skipped classes, got into fights, and generally caused trouble.
Still, he’d never knocked someone out and left them unconscious in the snow while he went back inside to eat.
“Hey.” He followed Gu Fei into the store and stared as Gu Fei plopped back down on his chair. It was hard to speak openly in front of Gu Miao, so he could only hint at it. “Are you really just going to leave…that?”
“Don’t worry, it’s fine. He’ll get up and leave on his own soon enough.
The most he’ll need is a nose job…” Gu Fei gave him a look. “I didn’t realize you were so compassionate. I didn’t see you worrying like this when you ran into Monkey and his crew.”
“Did I…” Jiang Cheng pointed at the door and searched for ages for the right words, “put them to sleep, though?”
Gu Fei looked at him without saying a word, obviously struggling to keep a straight face.
“Fine.” Jiang Cheng sat down. “It’s not my problem, anyway.”
Gu Fei put his head down and continued eating. Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything else either, though he really wasn’t sure the guy outside could “get up,” much less “leave on his own.”
Maybe it was the difference in environment. Where he grew up, no matter how much he misbehaved, there was a line he knew not to cross. But for Gu Fei, in this shitty old city surrounded by shitty people, maybe nobody cared about this sort of thing at all. Now that he thought about it, he was grateful to Gu Fei for not letting him freeze to death when he “went to sleep” in the snow outside the other day.
He was getting used to eating in silence with this pair of siblings. It was the same as both times before: Gu Miao didn’t speak, he himself had nothing to say, and Gu Fei seemed like he didn’t want to talk at all.
Eating like this saved a lot of time. They were done in ten minutes.
When he put his chopsticks down, about to say thank you, a stream of bitter curses rolled in from outside. It sounded like Sleeping Ugly had woken up. Jiang Cheng sighed in relief at the noise.
It sounded like swearing took a great effort for the man, probably because his nose was broken, and maybe some other bones too. He spoke in the same style as Li Baoguo’s neighbors had earlier—perhaps it was part of the neighborhood’s cultural heritage.
However, one especially loud and jarring line in his rant made Jiang Cheng immediately turn his eyes toward Gu Fei.
The man’s words were a bit slurred, but still audible: “So I fucked your mother, so what?!”
Gu Fei met Jiang Cheng’s eyes, then drank a spoonful of soup before saying, “My mother’s boyfriend—” “What?” Jiang Cheng’s jaw dropped enough to fit two pounds of lamb inside—he didn’t even wait for Gu Fei to finish. That man did look revolting, but he was only about thirty. Even if Gu Fei’s mother had had him at the age of twenty, she’d be nearing forty now.
“One of her boyfriends,” Gu Fei amended.
“Huh?” Jiang Cheng was stunned.
“Done eating?” Gu Fei asked. “There’s more meat. If you’re still hungry, I’ll add it to the pot.”
“Oh yes, I’m done,” Jiang Cheng said with a hurried nod.
Gu Fei put his chopsticks down. “Er-Miao, clean up.”
Gu Miao stood at once. She stacked the rice bowls with a practiced hand and grabbed all the chopsticks in one go, then carried them out the back door.
Jiang Cheng felt a wave of displeasure at the sight. He thought of Li Baoguo saying that’s a woman’s job, and reached out to help with the clean-up.
“Sit.” Gu Fei stopped him. “She can clean up.”
“Because it’s a woman’s job, huh?” Jiang Cheng glared at him out of the corner of his eye.
A little surprised, Gu Fei laughed. “Did I say that?”
“Not everything needs to be said out loud.” Remembering the chaos in Li Baoguo’s household, Jiang Cheng’s ire began to threaten his hard-won calm.
“I,” Gu Fei said, pointing to himself, “cook.”
Jiang Cheng looked at him.
“Gu Er-Miao,” Gu Fei said, pointing at Gu Miao as she returned through the back door, “washes the dishes.”
Jiang Cheng continued to look at him.
“Anything wrong with that?” Gu Fei asked.
“Oh.” Jiang Cheng stared, the flames of his ire morphing into embarrassment.
“Oh?” Gu Fei stared right back.
“…Oh.” Jiang Cheng really didn’t know what else to say.
Gu Fei didn’t pay him any more attention. He rose to his feet and walked away, parking himself behind the cash register and lighting a cigarette. Jiang Cheng wanted to leave, but his good manners prevented him from leaving right after a meal at someone else’s house; all he could do was sit at the table and watch as Gu Miao cleared everything away in two or three trips.
Just as he was about to ask Gu Fei for a cigarette, Gu Fei stood up, still smoking, and followed Gu Miao out the back door.
…Which left him alone in the store, spacing out at the empty table.
Fuck.
He took his phone out and texted Pan Zhi.
- Grandson.
- Gramps! Up for a chat?
- busy Pan Zhi sent him a voice message. “Don’t you have anything better to do than fuck with me? I just got an earful from my mom—she won’t even let me eat dinner!”
Jiang Cheng burst out laughing. He sent a voice message in reply: a full twenty seconds of laughter. After that, he rose to his feet, deciding to go out back and see what the two siblings were up to. If there was nothing else to do, he would take his leave.
Outside the back door was a small courtyard. It seemed to be a common space shared by the shops beside them—it had a bathroom and a small kitchen.
The wind slapped Jiang Cheng in the face the moment he set foot outside. He hurried over to the kitchen.
Gu Fei had his back to the door. Gu Miao stood at the sink, washing the bowls with hot water. The little girl was quite adept at washing dishes; her face was full of focus.
Jiang Cheng watched for a while. He didn’t really understand why Gu Fei was just standing there. Gu Miao wasn’t a young child anymore; if she was asked to clear the table and wash the dishes, then she could do it on her own.
Why stand and watch?
“Um…” Jiang Cheng cleared his throat.
Gu Miao was probably too engrossed in washing. She continued as if she didn’t hear him at all.
Gu Fei turned. “Hm?”
“I’m gonna go,” Jiang Cheng said. “Do you have any jackets you don’t wear? One I can borrow?”
“Nope,” Gu Fei said.
“The hell?” Jiang Cheng stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“I only have the ones I wear,” Gu Fei said. “The closet in the inner room.
Help yourself.”
“…Oh. Thanks.” Jiang Cheng turned to go inside.
Gu Fei stopped him. “Cheng-ge.”
Jiang Cheng paused. It made him feel weird to hear Gu Fei call him “Cheng-ge” the way Gu Miao would, but there was something oddly satisfying about it too—he was tempted to reply, “What’s up, kid?”
“Will you stay until she’s done washing dishes—so you can say goodbye?” Gu Fei asked.
“All right.” Jiang Cheng nodded. “Could you, uh…give me a cigarette?”
Gu Fei dug a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket and handed them to Jiang Cheng, then went back to watching Gu Miao at the sink. Jiang Cheng retreated to the doorway to light his cigarette as he also watched Gu Miao.
He wasn’t too sure, and it didn’t seem polite to ask, but maybe Gu Miao wasn’t like other children. Maybe Gu Fei had to watch her all the time—even when she did the dishes. Then again, if he was so worried about his little sister, why let her go flying about town on her skateboard all by herself? Why didn’t he seem worried even when she was bullied?
A mystery. The people here were all very mysterious.
Sometimes it felt like a hallucination. These streets, these scenes, these people he saw, and the things he came across—it all felt a little surreal. It was only when he was in contact with Pan Zhi that he came back to reality.
Had he traveled to another world? Another time? Another dimension? A pocket universe?
He frightened himself into a shiver.
Gu Fei happened to be looking at him. “You should’ve just stayed inside.”
Jiang Cheng ignored him.
Gu Miao finished washing the bowls and put them away, then turned to leave the kitchen, walking by Jiang Cheng as if she didn’t see him at all. Jiang Cheng followed her into the store. Now she began to look for him, and she finally turned and spotted him.
“You’re very efficient,” Jiang Cheng said, giving her a thumbs-up.
Gu Miao rubbed her nose bashfully.
“Hey.” Jiang Cheng bent down to speak to her. “I’m leaving now.”
Gu Miao shot a look at Gu Fei, then nodded.
“Goodbye?” Jiang Cheng lifted a hand and waved to her.
Gu Miao waved back, and Jiang Cheng chuckled. He thought he’d get to hear her say goodbye, but the silent movie only continued.
Gu Fei went to the room and brought out a long down parka for him.
“Thanks.” Jiang Cheng took the jacket and glanced over it.
“Hat? Gloves? Scarf? Mask?” Gu Fei asked.
“…That’s okay,” Jiang Cheng said. It was only a few hundred yards away.
“How about a charger… Do you have an extra?”
Gu Fei went back to the room and grabbed him a phone charger.
“Thanks.” Jiang Cheng put it in his pocket.
“…If someone punched you, would you still say thanks out of habit?” Gu Fei said.
“Why don’t you try me?” Jiang Cheng replied. He put the jacket on, pushed the curtain aside, and left.
***
Gu Fei stretched. He picked up his phone and glanced at the time, then gently patted Gu Miao’s head. “C’mon, let’s go home.”
Gu Miao swiftly shut the windows and doors, then went outside to wait for him, hugging her skateboard. Gu Fei collected the money in the cash register and switched the lights off.
“We’re walking home today. Xin-jie took our bike.” Gu Fei locked the storefront. “Once we get home, go to your room and do your homework. Don’t come out until you’re done.”
Gu Miao nodded. She put her skateboard on the ground and rushed off with a single kick. A dozen or so yards along, she tripped over something and crashed. Gu Fei laughed and whistled, but Gu Miao ignored him. Climbing to her feet, she got back on the skateboard and dashed off again.
By the time they reached home, it was just past eight. In the living room, both the lights and the TV were on. Their mom’s bedroom door was shut, but there was light coming from the crack underneath it.
After Gu Miao retreated to her room to do her homework, Gu Fei went over and knocked on the bedroom door. There was no response.
“I’ll give you one minute, then I’m going in,” Gu Fei said.
He went to the kitchen and boiled some water. After making himself a cup of tea, he returned to his mother’s door and knocked twice, then opened the door. The door wasn’t locked from the inside. In fact, she couldn’t lock it—he’d broken the lock the last time she’d said she was going to kill herself, and they hadn’t fixed it since.
“Get out.” His mom sat on a small couch by the window, a phone in her hand. Her eyes flared as she glowered at him. “Get out! Who let you in here?!”
“Are you on the phone with that guy?” Gu Fei raised his voice. “Tell him if he doesn’t hang up now, I’ll go looking for him tomorrow. When I’m done with him, there’ll be nothing left of him or the store he works at.”
“You—” Gu Fei’s mother rolled her eyes at him and brought the phone to her ear. “Honestly… Hello? Hello? Hey! Son of a bitch!” She slammed the phone viciously down on the couch. “The hell is wrong with you?! Sticking your nose in other people’s business—can’t you let your mother have a love life? It’s not like we have some grand inheritance! You two won’t have to fight anyone for it!”
“Out of all your little boyfriends, pick one you can be serious with. Just one.” Gu Fei took a sip of tea. “Then ask me if I care.”
“Which of them isn’t serious?!” His mother frowned. “You’re such a pain.”
“Which of them is?” Gu Fei faced her head-on. “Why don’t you stop spending money on them and see if any of them care about you then!”
“Why wouldn’t they?!” His mom slapped the couch. “Am I ugly? If I were ugly, would people be calling you handsome all your life?”
“Yeah.” Gu Fei took a small mirror from the bedside table and looked at himself. “I am handsome.”
“You—” Just as his mother spoke, he cut her off. “Everyone tells me, your mother was so pretty when she was young.” Gu Fei put down the mirror. “When she was young, you know? Now girls who are prettier and younger and dumber than you are a dime a dozen. If you didn’t have any money, what guy in his twenties or thirties would want to date a forty-something-year-old—” “Get out! Out, out!” His mother leapt off the couch and pushed him out the door. “I have nothing to say to you! Get out!”
Gu Fei seized her wrist. “Stop taking money from the cash register. It’s not like there’s a lot in there; I didn’t even need to count to know you took it.”
His mom didn’t reply. She merely went back into the room and slammed the door.
Gu Fei flopped onto the living room couch. He took two sips of tea, then grabbed the remote control and channel-surfed. There was nothing on at this hour but family soaps, with moms and daughters and brothers-in-law all tearing each other up—either that, or saintly clichéd heroines forgiving their asshole romantic interests and reforming them through the power of love.
He switched off the TV after a few moments and went to his room, where he turned on his computer.
Between doing his homework and editing the photos he’d taken today, he chose the latter without a hint of hesitation. When it came to homework, well… He couldn’t write anything decent if he tried, the same way he always failed his exams whether he sat for them or not.
Gu Fei uploaded the photos from his camera onto the computer. First, he deleted the bad ones, then selected the ones worth editing from the remainder.
The ones he’d taken of Gu Miao were all decent. That kid never smiled in photos. Her face was so serious she looked like she was planning to blow up a school—but she looked pretty cool regardless.
The street photos weren’t any good—they were too messy, with too much in the background—but the snaps he took of the sunset were all right. The colors of the one with someone in a red coat crossing the bridge were particularly striking… And these photos of Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng… He frowned, comparing them. He saved the first one and deleted the rest.
Putting on his headphones, he listened to music as he began to edit. Photo editing was a finicky business, but he found it interesting—much more interesting than going to class.
His music streaming algorithm had been a bit too aggressive lately—each song on his personal channel was more explosive than the last. As a result, every click of his mouse felt like a mini electric shock, disrupting his flow. He changed the music to his own local playlist. It eased substantially. After shuffling through two songs at random, he heard a familiar guitar chord, followed by the piano notes, and then a female vocal:
Stepping into thin air, about to take flight
I look up and I’m lost,
I look down to see your face And you tell me this world is an empty place…
Gu Fei moved the cursor and clicked on the next song. It’d been a long time, he thought. He hadn’t thought so when he wrote it back then, but now it sounded childish. The vocalist was Ding Zhuxin, who understood it perfectly, imbuing her languid, husky voice with notes of doubt and struggle.
When he was finished with Jiang Cheng’s photo, he glanced at the time. It was almost eleven. That was time for you—never there when you needed it, but impossible to get rid of when you didn’t.
He stretched as he looked at Jiang Cheng’s face filling the screen. The light was just right, as was the hue. The young man’s expression of disdain was perfect, and the way his eyes didn’t quite meet the camera… Compared to the model he’d practiced photographing before—the one Ding Zhuxin spent real money on hiring for her crappy online store—Jiang Cheng had a much better feel for the camera.
He compressed the photo slightly, checked for any outstanding issues, then saved it. After that, he opened Meitu.(12)
Reduce saturation, darken, filter. Bokeh, sparkles…
Lastly, he added text to the photo: With sad music playing, spinning freely, the night feels even lonelier.
After some typesetting, he sent it to Jiang Cheng.
“Last Of the Wilds”— Jiang Cheng’s username seemed to demonstrate his identity as an overachiever. But though these English words meant as much to Gu Fei as any other random combination of the English alphabet, he had heard this song before, and liked it, too—bagpipes with a metal vibe.
He looked at Jiang Cheng’s display picture. It was a side profile of his face, with his back turned. Though it was blurry, he could tell from the nose that it was Jiang Cheng… It was a pretty good photo.
Not two minutes later, Jiang Cheng replied.
– What’s wrong with you?
Gu Fei laughed.
– What?
– Are you a sticker maker or something?! Why don’t you make me into one of those stickers old people like? “a toast to our friendship tonight” or something like that
– You want one? I can make you one
– Fuck off Gu Fei leaned back in his chair to laugh for a while before he replied.
– What, you don’t like it?
– Where’s your compassion?!
Gu Fei snickered as he sent over the original photo.
Jiang Cheng went quiet in the chat. It took him a few minutes to send a reply.
– Just one? Any more?
– Nope. The others weren’t good, I deleted them
– …you certainly have high standards for yourself. Couldn’t you send them to me so I can delete them myself?
– Weren’t you the one who wanted to delete them this afternoon?
Jiang Cheng didn’t reply. Gu Fei put his phone down and got up. He flexed his slightly stiff arms and legs and walked out of his room. The lights were already off in Gu Miao’s room. He walked over and gently pushed the door open to peek inside. Having done her homework and finished washing up, the munchkin was now bundled up in her blanket, sound asleep.
Nobody was allowed to interrupt Gu Fei when he was doing his thing. Gu Miao knew this, and even his usually unreliable mother remembered it. He didn’t know when she had gone out, but she’d done it so soundlessly that it hadn’t disturbed him at all.
Gu Fei furrowed his brows. He took the jacket he’d hung by the door and checked his wallet. All the big notes were gone.
“Fuck,” he said quietly.
Returning to his room, he took his phone out and called Liu Fan.
“Da-Fei? You coming out tonight? We’re out here drinking,” came Liu Fan’s cheerful voice on the other end of the line. “Li Yan and the gang are all here.”
“No, I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” Gu Fei said. “Come out with me tomorrow.”
“Where to?” Liu Fan asked immediately.
“The CD store we talked about last time.”
“The snobby one where everyone from the owner to the staff thinks they’re a masterful music connoisseur?”
“The owner is the real deal,” said Gu Fei. “I’m looking for the skinny-legged grasshopper guy.”
“Got it. You don’t have to come.” Liu Fan tsked. “It’s not right for you to go. I’ll bring some people. What kind of result are you looking for?”
“I want him to turn and run when he sees my mother.”
“Done.”
After he hung up, his phone pinged. It was a message from Jiang Cheng.
– Thanks Gu Fei cast an eye over his display picture: Jiang Cheng had changed it to the photo he sent him.
– Changed your display pic?
– Yeah, it’s got style Gu Fei chuckled. He put down his phone to get ready to wash up, but as he reached the door, his phone pinged again. He reversed course and picked it up for a look.
– I might have to keep your clothes for one more day. I won’t have time to buy new clothes ’til after school – You’re not gonna wash them before you give them back?
– …are you a germaphobe?
– Nope. Why don’t you pick one to wash, the blanket or the clothes – I’ll give your clothes back after I wash them.
Gu Fei yawned. Maybe it was because he ate too much meat tonight, but he was unusually sleepy. After he washed up, he dropped onto the bed and fell asleep instantly. It was only when it got too cold in the middle of the night that he woke up and tucked himself in.
When he woke in the morning, the house was empty. His mother had stayed out all night, and Gu Miao had gone to school by herself. He checked the time. Forget morning self-study—he’d already missed a good half of the first class.
“Ughh,” he let out a long grunt as he stretched, then slowly tidied up and left the apartment.
Just as he reached the ground floor, his phone rang with a call from Lao-Xu. “Back to your old habits this semester? Do you want to be expelled?!”
“I overslept,” said Gu Fei.
“I don’t care what excuse you have today. You and I are going to have a talk at lunchtime! I have to take responsibility for you!”
“…What did you do to me that you need to take responsibility for?” Gu Fei asked.
“Don’t be smart with me!” Lao-Xu said. “Before, I didn’t know what happened with you. That was an oversight on my part! Now that I know, I need to be responsible!”
Gu Fei’s steps paused. “What happened with me?”
“With your dad,” Lao-Xu said earnestly. “As your homeroom teacher, I’m hoping you’ll open up to me and—” “I don’t need you in my business,” Gu Fei said. “I don’t care who you are.
If you mess with me, you can ‘open up’ to my knuckles.”
[12] A popular image-editing mobile app best known for its beautifying filters and plethora of effects.