Chapter 19
ZHENG WEIZE WAS A PERSON with a certain degree of self-awareness. He knew he was poor and not particularly handsome. He fell a little short in comparison to his roommates, who averaged an attractive 7.2. They were admired whenever they went out together, but he was still riding their coattails. Among this group of tops (or self-proclaimed tops), the only thing notable about him was his candid admission that he was a bottom who needed love and protection.
There were simply too many high-caliber men at No. 7 Riverbay Road. Yes, it was just four of them, but that was more than he had ever encountered at once in any environment growing up. And on top of their looks, they were all very stylish and had great personalities.
Of course, this was because Zhang Yuwen pre-screened potential tenants during the selection process and chose applicants who were good-looking, straightforward, and easygoing. But with everyone claiming to be a top, it was inevitable that territorial instincts would run high, so Zhang Yuwen brought Zheng Weize in to give everyone’s protective instincts an outlet. His presence made the rest of them less likely to flex their muscles and release pheromones to show their dominance over the others.
Zheng Weize occasionally fantasized about being a princess and them playing the knights protecting him. He ranked them in his mind.
Chang Jinxing was first, of course, followed by Zhang Yuwen and Yan Jun. At first Zhang Yuwen and Yan Jun were tied for second place, but eventually Zhang Yuwen’s temperament won out, pushing Yan Jun to third. Chen Hong brought up the rear in fourth place.
Once he’d spent some more time with Chen Hong, though, Zheng Weize realized that muscular men had their own appeal. They gave you a sense of security and were packed with testosterone, offering an entirely different flavor from the pretty boys. Besides, Chang Jinxing was always playing coy; he refused to give Zheng Weize a straightforward response or rejection. Zheng Weize wondered whether he should choose a new chief knight.
But then he’d look at them and go this one isn’t bad and that one’s quite handsome too. Even Yan Jun, patiently feeding his daughter on a cold winter night, seemed to exude a special kind of charm. Zheng Weize had never been in a meaningful relationship in his life; his history was littered with unrequited crushes on straight men. When he moved into No.
7 Riverbay Road, where everyone openly discussed their sexual orientation and partners and took care of him like they would a little brother, a whole new world opened up for him—one in which he was so flattered and overwhelmed by the attention, he might just fall for ’em all.
“Where do you want to hang out today?” Zhang Yuwen asked Zheng Weize, sipping his iced coffee through a straw.
Although Zheng Weize had some complaints about Chang Jinxing’s absence on Christmas Eve and the lack of explanation for his whereabouts, he was excited by the prospect of developing his relationship with Zhang Yuwen and Yan Jun.
“How did you guys usually spend Christmas when you were in school?” asked Zhang Yuwen.
“Nothing worth mentioning.”
Resigning himself to Chang Jinxing’s absence, Zheng Weize imagined himself as the protagonist in a dating sim. His main focus was on winning Chang Jinxing’s heart, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t spread his attention around and flirt with the others occasionally. Each had his own charm, after all.
Recently, a top fan with generous pockets had begun to show up on his female account’s live stream channel. He tipped Zheng Weize daily, sometimes two or three hundred, sometimes five or six hundred. As Christmas neared, the top fan generously tipped him a whole thousand, so Zheng Weize wasn’t as financially strapped as usual. He planned to get his roommates little gifts for Christmas. He couldn’t spend more than a hundred on each of them, though, of course, or he’d have to spend the next month eating dirt again.
Meanwhile, Zhang Yuwen was browsing his phone for places to go on Christmas Eve, which was proving to be a bit of a headache.
“Are you not that keen on going out?” Zheng Weize asked.
“No, it’s not that,” said Zhang Yuwen. “I’m just…not very good with holidays and celebrations. I’m worried you’d be unhappy with my choices.”
“How could I be?”
Zheng Weize didn’t expect his opinion to be so important to Zhang Yuwen. He thought Zhang Yuwen must have been conditioned this way by his past relationships. If you failed to plan certain holidays and anniversaries to a partner’s satisfaction, there’d be hell to pay, and some tops had holiday anxiety—a fear that they’d be given the cold shoulder if their plans fell through. This was normal.
“I’m really cool with anything,” Zheng Weize told him. “Just the fact that you’re hanging out with me already makes me super happy.”
“How about a mall, then?” Zhang Yuwen suggested.
“Sure.” Zheng Weize just wanted to have fun, and if Zhang Yuwen was willing to pick up the tab, all the better. The guy hadn’t mentioned a word about expenses the whole time they’d been talking about it, so Zheng Weize’s odds of freeloading today were high. He could mooch off a handsome guy and get himself a free Christmas dinner, so why not? “What are we having for dinner?” he asked.
He’d been surviving off instant noodles for several days, and his hunger debuff was chipping away at his health points. He just wanted to chow down on something delicious.
“Yan Jun said he’ll make a reservation,” Zhang Yuwen said. “He’s getting off work early today. We’ll pick him up together.”
For once, Zhang Yuwen was driving. Zheng Weize settled into the passenger seat, and as he glanced at him, he discovered a whole new facet to Zhang Yuwen’s charm.
“This car must be so expensive!” Zheng Weize had no concept of the lavish upper-class lifestyle.
“Yeah.” Zhang Yuwen turned the steering wheel and drove out of the garage. “If only it were mine.” He grinned and winked at Zheng Weize.
Zheng Weize’s heart raced. He wondered where Zhang Yuwen had picked that up. Probably from hanging out too much with Chang Jinxing, goofing off and flirting. He laughed. “It’s as good as yours.”
“They’re the same in the sense that these are all material possessions,” Zhang Yuwen muttered to himself, “and yet they aren’t all the same.”
Zheng Weize didn’t understand what he meant. “How much does this car cost?” he asked curiously.
Zhang Yuwen thought about it for a moment. “Two million? Two point six million, I guess.”
This was a figure so astronomical that Zheng Weize couldn’t even begin to fathom it. The cars he’d heard of that cost a little over a million already seemed extravagant. “It costs more than a house!”
It was enough to buy several houses in Zheng Weize’s hometown, in fact.
“Yeah.” Zhang Yuwen sighed and drove onto the bridge, heading to Jiangnan to pick Yan Jun up. It was Christmas Eve, and the streets were packed, creating traffic jams everywhere. “The roads are so congested. We should have taken the subway.”
Zheng Weize was in familiar territory now. “You can take a right up ahead. There’s a shortcut that isn’t usually that busy.”
Following Zheng Weize’s directions, Zhang Yuwen drove the car around the back entrance of a shopping mall. “You seem familiar with this place,” he remarked.
“Yeah.” Of course he was. This was where Zheng Weize used to work, and he still felt nostalgic about the place. Coming back here more than a month later, to this narrow road with a row of small shops and food stalls lined up across from the shopping mall, his job here felt like a different lifetime. “I used to come here a lot with my classmates.”
With some difficulty, Zhang Yuwen carefully maneuvered the car to avoid hitting the railing or the vehicles parked on the curb. Zheng Weize gazed at the street, full of nostalgia. He used to come here with his straight colleague for the ¥20 lunches.
Zheng Weize suddenly spotted someone—that very same straight ex-colleague. “Eh!”
“What’s wrong?” Zhang Yuwen turned to look at him.
“That guy…is a friend of mine!”
With mixed feelings, he watched the straight colleague, who stood at the side of the road. He had left his counter to step out of the mall for a smoke, looking weary.
So ugly… So sleazy, man. How did I not notice before? Zheng Weize was shocked. How did I ever like someone like that?
Zhang Yuwen rolled down the car window, but Zheng Weize, not wanting to greet the guy, quickly intervened. “No need for that. He’s just an ordinary friend.” He was worried the guy might say too much and expose Zheng Weize’s fabricated story.
Zhang Yuwen casually put on his sunglasses and whistled at the guy. “Hello.”
This left Zheng Weize with no choice but to play along. He put his hand on the back of Zhang Yuwen’s seat and plastered a cheery smile on his face. “Hi!”
When the guy saw Zheng Weize, his jaw dropped. Then he looked at Zhang Yuwen.
“Long time no see, man.” Zheng Weize really did not like this straight guy anymore. Seeing him actually made Zheng Weize feel a bit nauseous.
“You guys…” “We’re going to celebrate Christmas Eve.” After a moment, Zheng Weize added, “Happy holidays.”
His former colleague waved at him, looking conflicted. Zhang Yuwen rolled up the window and glanced at Zheng Weize, who fell silent for a moment. He knew that Zhang Yuwen must have sensed something between him and the guy.
“He’s straight,” Zheng Weize explained. This time, his smile came from the heart.
“I see.” Zhang Yuwen didn’t ask how they met.
“He’s pretty selfish. He knew I liked him, but he never outright rejected me so that I’d keep on sucking up to him. I’m really…”
“Hush.” Zhang Yuwen drove onto the main road and, with a smile, gestured for Zheng Weize not to say another word.
“Huh?”
“Don’t dwell on other people’s flaws, and don’t doubt yourself.
Those memories also contain the past version of you. Forget what made you sad, remember what made you happy. Pick up the pieces and move on.”
Zheng Weize nodded, not really getting it. He was still so young, barely over twenty—at his age, matters of the heart still befuddled him.
“We’re here.” Zhang Yuwen parked the car in front of Yan Jun’s company building.
Yan Jun’s colleagues were just getting off work, and the sight of the expensive luxury car gave them a start as they stepped out of the building.
“Yo!”
Yan Jun bade them goodbye and happy holidays. Then, obviously in a good mood, he grinned and strode over to Zhang Yuwen.
Zhang Yuwen took off his sunglasses and grinned back. “Wow.”
“Wow,” Yan Jun mimicked, exaggerating his tone.
“Yo, look at you. A domineering CEO with your luxury car and chauffeur.”
“Nah, I’m the CEO’s kept boy. Baby, please move to the back.”
“Why?!” Zheng Weize cried.
“The bodyguard sits in the passenger seat. The young master always rides in the back.”
Just like that, Yan Jun relegated Zheng Weize to the back seat and occupied the passenger seat himself, adjusting it to accommodate his long legs with familiar ease before buckling his seat belt.
“You’ll still need to move to the back later,” Zhang Yuwen pointed out. “We’re going to pick Xiao-Qi up now.”
“Let’s go have fun first before we pick her up for dinner. Look what we have here! A Bentley! This car really feeds the ego.”
Zhang Yuwen was torn between laughter and tears. “It’s not like it’s your first time in this car!”
“It was late at night last time, it was dark,” Yan Jun said, “and I wasn’t in the mood to enjoy the ride. Even my boss probably hasn’t been in a car of this caliber.”
“And you want to abandon your precious daughter to enjoy it now?”
Yan Jun laughed. “I want to buy her some stuff, and it’s tough to go shopping with a baby.”
“All right then.” Zhang Yuwen turned the car around to head for another mega shopping mall in Jiangnan, where they planned to spend Christmas Eve.
The festive atmosphere in Jiangdong City was cranked up to eleven during Christmas. Every shop was having a promotion, and they were all decked out with dazzling lights. To top it all off, the atrium had a hundred-foot-tall Christmas tree. Zheng Weize cheered and pulled the two of them in to take photos. Of course, most of them were of Zheng Weize and Zhang Yuwen, while Yan Jun was directed to get down on one knee to snap the photos.
As they shopped, Zheng Weize clung to Zhang Yuwen’s arm and handed his phone to Yan Jun, ordering him follow them and take more pictures. From time to time, he looked back and made cute gestures for the camera.
Yan Jun didn’t really want to keep taking photos of his roommates, so he plotted his escape. “I’m going to the baby store.”
“I’m planning to head over there,” Zheng Weize said, pointing out an adorable vintage-style shop. He took his phone back and began to compile the photos, feeling very pleased to have had his vanity indulged so thoroughly. “You guys go ahead. No need to keep me company.”
Zhang Yuwen and Yan Jun stopped at a large baby store to find new clothes for Xiao-Qi. Babies grew fast; in a few months her clothes would no longer fit, and Yan Jun didn’t want to buy her loose, oversized clothing.
“I’m thinking of getting Xiao-Qi a Christmas present,” said Zhang Yuwen.
“I’ll thank you on her behalf. What’s it going to be?”
“I’m not going to let you choose. All you know is to buy pink stuff for girls.”
“I was a jock,” Yan Jun said. “My sense of aesthetics has never been good. The writer has the final say.”
Zhang Yuwen followed Yan Jun around the store for a long time.
Yan Jun picked some discounted baby clothes and bibs. Zhang Yuwen could tell that he was holding himself back from buying everything in sight. Occasionally, Zhang Yuwen saw a good deal on adorable clothes that he was tempted to buy for Xiao-Qi too.
In the end, he bought Xiao-Qi a stroller. Yan Jun tried to stop him.
“It’s too expensive.”
“It’s fine.” Zhang Yuwen smiled. “This is my Rolls-Royce gift to her. When spring comes, you can take her racing around Riverbay Road.”
Yan Jun was touched by the gesture. He smiled back. “In that case, thank you, Uncle, for the Rolls-Royce.”
They deposited the baby stuff in Zhang Yuwen’s car, then went to pick up Xiao-Qi. Yan Jun unpacked and assembled the stroller in the garage of the childcare center. Xiao-Qi clearly loved it. She kept playing with the toys built into the stroller. Then they returned to the mall to wait for Zheng Weize, who materialized with a ton of variously sized shopping bags in tow, and finally headed for the restaurant.
“I got you guys Christmas gifts,” Zheng Weize told them, smiling.
He lifted the shopping bags and, with his free hand, took a selfie with Zhang Yuwen.
“Let me take those.” Zhang Yuwen relieved Zheng Weize of his bags. He knew that Zheng Weize would post photos of them on social media and pretend that they were gifts from Zhang Yuwen, so he was filling in the last piece of the charade. A man’s top had to keep him company on a shopping trip, after all, and carrying his bags was the perfect touch.
The trio sat down at the restaurant. They opted for another all-you-can-eat hot pot, but with unlimited seafood and barbecue, it was a lot more sumptuous than the meal they ate on the mountain.
Zheng Weize was half delighted, half worried that they would have to split the bill after the meal. “This is too extravagant!”
Yan Jun gave the meal vouchers to the waiter. “These are from the company,” he explained to Zhang Yuwen. “There were only two, so I bought another one from my colleague.”
“All right, then I won’t stand on ceremony,” said Zhang Yuwen.
“Thank you for the feast.”
Zheng Weize revealed the Christmas gifts he’d bought. They were all soft scarves, like he’d bought them wholesale for each person in the same style but different colors. Remarkably, he’d also bought scarves for Chang Jinxing and Chen Hong, despite their absence. Even more remarkably, there was a children’s version for Xiao-Qi. Most remarkable of all: He got one for Huo Sichen! He didn’t leave a single person out.
Warm with gratitude, Zhang Yuwen took a photo and sent it to Huo Sichen.
After dinner, Zheng Weize was stuffed. Zhang Yuwen took them to the indoor amusement park. With tickets to the baby area purchased in advance, Yan Jun brought Xiao-Qi in to play, while Zhang Yuwen kept Zheng Weize company at the claw machines.
“Won’t you get bored?” Zheng Weize asked.
“Nope!” said Zhang Yuwen. “Not at all. I’ll get you more tokens.
It’s on me. We have to catch that duck.”
Keeping Zheng Weize company was much more relaxing than keeping his ex company. Zheng Weize wouldn’t lose his temper if he didn’t get the toy or grouse about having to spend Christmas Eve playing claw machines. Zheng Weize’s demands were simple: If he had a top to keep him company, he was okay with doing anything. If a top wasn’t available, a straight guy would do in a pinch.
If it wasn’t for Yan Jun and Xiao-Qi, Zheng Weize might have thought he was on a date. It would be even more perfect if Chang Jinxing were there in Zhang Yuwen’s place… Even when he was already eating from the bowl, Zheng Weize couldn’t help eyeing the pot for more.
Zhang Yuwen bought him a whole bunch of tokens, and as Zheng Weize accepted them, he was over the moon, feeling like the world was full of pink bubbles.
Before long, Yan Jun came out, and this time a contented Zheng Weize went in to play with Xiao-Qi. Yan Jun and Zhang Yuwen sat at the bar outside, their eyes trained on Xiao-Qi.
“She’s grown so much,” Zhang Yuwen commented. “It’s only been a month.”
“Yeah,” Yan Jun replied. “I could hold her in one hand when she was just born. Kids grow up fast.”
“She’ll be a stunner when she grows up.” Zhang Yuwen couldn’t help but imagine a girl with Yan Jun’s features. She would be a tall, long-legged classic beauty with chiseled features.
“Wanna play for a bit?” Yan Jun asked Zhang Yuwen.
“Don’t you need to keep an eye on her?”
“It’s safe in there, and I trust Weize. Let’s go play some games.”
The arcade zone was at the side of the amusement park. Zhang Yuwen and Yan Jun each got on a motorbike game machine and fired away at the screen. A few minutes later, they switched to a zombie game where they mowed down zombies with their machine guns.
“Silent Night” began to play, and suddenly the noise in the arcade seemed to recede into the distance. Yan Jun glimpsed Zhang Yuwen out of the corner of his eye. His profile was handsome. Very handsome.
Yan Jun kept readjusting his expectations, reminding himself that Xiao-Qi couldn’t be his whole world. He needed his own time, his own life. These days, he was doing his best to make small changes, hoping to use his encounter with Zhang Yuwen to start life anew.
Zhang Yuwen’s gaming skills were impressive too, a match for Yan Jun’s. He was so engrossed in the game that he almost forgot about Yan Jun, but midway through, he realized his teammate was gone and whipped his head around in surprise.
“I’m already dead!” Yan Jun laughed.
Zhang Yuwen smiled at him. It made Yan Jun’s heart flutter like the countless fine snowflakes dancing in the sky outside.
As they left the amusement park, a singer in a floor-length gown who’d been invited by the mall stood under the Christmas tree in the atrium and began to sing, her rich voice resonating in the visitors’ hearts.
“Silent night… Holy night… All is calm… All is bright…” The light under the Christmas tree glimmered in the long night.
Zhang Yuwen, Zheng Weize, and Yan Jun, who was pushing the stroller, paused for a moment as they passed the atrium to listen to her sing. Unable to help himself, Yan Jun sang along for a couple lines. His voice was deep and powerful, and it drew astonished looks from the people around them.
He stopped singing, looking uncharacteristically shy.
“Encore! Encore!” Zhang Yuwen and Zheng Weize exclaimed in unison.
“Shhh… Xiao-Qi’s falling asleep.” It had been a long time since Yan Jun had sung. “Let’s go.”
“Drive slowly,” Zheng Weize reminded Zhang Yuwen. “It’s snowing, and the roads are slippery.”
“Roger that.” Zhang Yuwen smiled and glanced at the back seat, where Yan Jun held a sleeping Xiao-Qi in his arms. He drove through the city, taking them back to their heartwarming home.
Tonight, their fatigue was soothed and their unhappiness forgotten.
It was just as Zhang Yuwen had said: “Forget what made you sad, remember what made you happy.”