Chapter 12
THE RENT WAS CURRENTLY Zheng Weize’s most pressing concern.
He tried various methods of begging for money in his live streams, but none of them worked. The settlement date next month was fast approaching—the day on which the platform would disburse the proceeds of his live streaming earnings, minus service fees. As of today, the combined earnings for both his accounts were a measly ¥205.73. This number seemed to mock Zheng Weize for overestimating himself, and it was a harsh indictment of his looks.
He’d been eating nothing but instant noodles for half a month. Well, almost nothing: There was the one time he got to feast on Chang Jinxing’s gourmet cooking. Zheng Weize considered borrowing some money from his roommates, but Yan Jun had a baby to care for and seemed to be hard up, and Zheng Weize couldn’t bring himself to ask Chang Jinxing; after all, he wanted to woo the guy, so he had to keep up appearances.
Borrowing money from Zhang Yuwen to pay the rent was pointless, so he set his sights on Chen Hong…until he accidentally discovered that his fitness trainer roommate was also living on instant noodles. Disheartened, he went back to live streaming.
Zheng Weize alternated between two accounts every night, one male and one female. The female account sold skincare products. When he was logged in as the female streamer, he wore a wig and used a voice changer.
The intention was initially to promote products to other women through his streams, but gradually, straight men who thought with their dicks came to outnumber his female viewers. In the end, he was forced to resign himself to it, and he switched tactics to humoring them for tips.
He couldn’t get into the role, though, and he struggled to act cute. Playing a different gender went against his nature, making him feel restricted and ill at ease. Sometimes, he even slipped back into masculine speech and mannerisms.
The other account—a gay university student whose client base was gay men and fujoshis—was much easier. He felt more at ease being a guy.
At night, he opened some books and read them bedtime stories, developing the persona of a gentle student and hoping his target audience would tip him generously for lulling them to sleep.
However, a gay without a boyfriend was like an over-boiled chicken breast: healthy-looking but dry and tasteless. Not even fujoshis, who could even ship a pair of Transformers, showed any interest in him. There were only a few dozen viewers watching his live stream, and at least half of them were views from the platform. Worse, Zheng Weize couldn’t focus during his live stream because he kept straining for any sound of Chang Jinxing’s return.
He was also a bit distracted. Sometimes, he thought he could bring in the money faster if he acted cute and asked for gifts, so he swapped to his female account, put on his wig, and hustled to keep the money coming.
At other times, though, he worried he would miss out on a match made in heaven with a tall, rich, handsome gay man, so he switched back to his male account and waited for his destined one to fall into his lap. The constant switching between accounts made it even more likely that he’d slip up, and finally the day came when he forgot to turn on the voice changer as he swapped over to the female account, scaring away his few remaining horndog viewers. He spent that night in utter despair.
Zheng Weize sighed. Hang in there, he told himself. Perseverance is crucial in everything you do, including live streaming. But persevering was easier said than done. The only thing he’d consistently done all these years was charge his phone every day. Moreover, while some types of perseverance were commendable, others ought to be scorned. It was tricky to know which kind you were dealing with until the final moment of triumph.
Should he find someone to fake date? If he did that, no one would ever try to woo him through his live streams. Zheng Weize still held out hope that his ideal partner would check out his live stream, feel moved by his intellect and gentleness, and ask him out.
Today, he was eating instant noodles in the living room, reflecting on his career.
“Instant noodles again?” asked Chang Jinxing, who was back early.
He had a camera around his neck, having just returned from an outdoor shoot. A group of girls dressed in period costumes had rented a ride and hired him for a photoshoot in the early winter ginkgo grove.
These girls had met through an interest group and were close friends online, but in real life, they vied and schemed against each other. In addition to putting up with their bizarre demands, Chang Jinxing also had to navigate their overt and covert warfare. His good looks were useless in times like this; everyone was too busy with their imperial palace strife to pay attention to him. After playing the eunuch for the whole day, Chang Jinxing was exhausted, physically and mentally.
“I’ll cook an egg for you,” he offered.
“I’m almost done eating,” said Zheng Weize. “Don’t bother.”
Chang Jinxing sat down at the table. “You can’t keep eating like this.”
“I don’t know how to cook,” Zheng Weize said with a smile, “and I don’t want to cause Auntie Liu any trouble by using the kitchen.”
With a hint of a smile playing on the corners of his lips, Chang Jinxing looked down at the photos he’d taken today on his camera. So handsome… Zheng Weize thought. From this angle, Chang Jinxing’s side profile was even more attractive. He had a high nose bridge, great skin, and soft lips. His clothes fit him perfectly, too, making him look neat and trendy.
Zheng Weize’s reliance on Chang Jinxing was genuine, but he didn’t dare to make it obvious. Chang Jinxing would always flirt with him, but just as Zheng Weize was about to take him seriously and the others were about to make fun of them, Chang Jinxing would go back to his usual self. Their relationship oscillated between friends and something more, like a swing that couldn’t stop but was bound by the pull of gravity, preventing Zheng Weize from flying high into the sky.
Chang Jinxing looked up at Zheng Weize and smiled. “Are you still live streaming these days?” Zheng Weize had told him about the live streams before.
“Yeah, just for fun. I don’t have that many fans. Everyone’s like a friend; we just chat.”
“What have you been streaming lately?”
“Nothing much, just casual chats. You wanna join?”
He was just asking for the sake of asking, and in truth, he expected Chang Jinxing to decline. To his surprise, Chang Jinxing asked, “Now?”
Surprised but flattered, Zheng Weize said, “I’ll call for you in a bit.”
“What time? I might have to go out later.”
“Now is fine. I’ll go get ready.”
Chang Jinxing was overwhelmed. It was only once he gave up on living off others that he’d realized just how hard it was to make money.
Spending the whole day as a eunuch had only netted him ¥300, and once he deducted food expenses, he was left with ¥130. To pay the ¥4,000 rent, he would have to play a eunuch for thirty days—he’d be a eunuch for the rest of his life. It was miserable.
He thought about finding other alternatives. Who knew, maybe live streaming could help to supplement his income.
“Wait a moment,” Zheng Weize told him. He tidied up his room, hiding the wigs and bras in his closet, then prepared two seats and turned on the ring light. Chang Jinxing entered uninvited. Zheng Weize often went to Chang Jinxing’s room to chat, but this was the first time Chang Jinxing had set foot in his room.
“You shouldn’t put the light here.” Chang Jinxing took the light and changed its direction.
“Oh, okay.”
“You can show the window in the back.” Chang Jinxing pulled the curtains open. “The afternoon light is good.”
“I usually stream at night,” Zheng Weize explained.
“I see. Do I need to put on makeup?”
“Nah. There are filters, and besides, you’re already gorgeous… Hi everyone, I’m Xiao-Tu. Welcome to my live stream, Xiao-Tu’s Reading Room…” “Is it starting?” Chang Jinxing leaned in out of curiosity.
“Yeah,” Zheng Weize said, “no one’s here. You see, at this time of —” But no sooner did he say these words than viewers began to come online. Whenever Zheng Weize started a live stream, the software notified his followers. Today, he was streaming at a different time than usual, in the afternoon instead of late at night; that piqued his regulars’ curiosity, and so they logged on to see what was happening.
“Say hi to everyone,” Zheng Weize told Chang Jinxing.
Chang Jinxing glanced at the phone. While he was not exactly thrilled with his appearance today, he sucked it up and waved his hand.
“Hi, I’m Star.”
A barrage of comments flooded the screen: So handsome! Someone even asked, Xiao-Tu, finally saying goodbye to singlehood?
Zheng Weize watched the viewer count rise, hitting 80 percent of his usual late-night audience, and he marveled at the power of good looks.
Attractive guys just seemed to fire people up with the urge to communicate. His fans, who were usually like zombies, dropped all reserve and dignity the moment they saw Chang Jinxing, typing furiously at the screen. They spammed him with questions about who he was, what his job was, and whether he was Xiao-Tu’s boyfriend.
“‘Handsome,’ ‘how are you so gorgeous’… Oh, thanks for the rose.” Chang Jinxing started reading the chat screen aloud, thinking that was how live streaming worked, and thanked them for the gifts. “‘What did you eat growing up to turn out like that?’ ‘What’s your relationship?’ ‘Are you straight?’ ‘Is your real name Star? There are stars in your eyes.’ Thank you, cuv3494, for the rose.”
Zheng Weize was speechless as he sat to the side, caught in a complex emotional miasma. Chang Jinxing freed a hand and wrapped it around Zheng Weize, and the chat erupted into squeals of omg wat is this flirting I cannot!
“What should we stream?” Chang Jinxing asked Zheng Weize in all seriousness.
“What do you want to stream?” Zheng Weize returned with a grin.
Chang Jinxing flashed him a radiant smile. “I don’t know either.”
Apparently having gotten word of what was happening, a bunch of gays popped into the chat like a sightseeing tour group. Zheng Weize recognized one of the nicknames as an old regular of his stream. The others were users who occasionally came to show support.
You hoes! Zheng Weize screamed internally. Hoes! Stop flirting with my Star!
Chang Jinxing continued reading questions. “‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ Hm, take a guess… ‘You must be a bottom.’” He laughed.
“Baby, you guessed wrong.”
“I’ll get you a glass of water,” Zheng Weize said.
Not even fifteen minutes into the live stream, Chang Jinxing had already received a ton of gifts. Zheng Weize’s fans, usually as miserly as Grandet(2), sent Chang Jinxing lots of roses because of his looks—one even gifted him a virtual sports car. When Zheng Weize sat back down, Chang Jinxing was saying, “Many thanks for the sports car, baby,” which made the actual host of the stream so furious his face almost contorted in anger.
Chang Jinxing didn’t respond to the comments about their relationship. When Zheng Weize handed him water, someone commented, Wow! These two are definitely a couple!
Struck by a brain wave, Zheng Weize wrapped his arms around Chang Jinxing’s neck from behind, leaned against his back—the way he usually took liberty with Chang Jinxing—and looked into the camera alongside him. Chang Jinxing appeared as if he was used to this, and the duo received even more roses.
Calculating how many tips he’d raked in, Zheng Weize wondered if he should call it a day, like a lottery winner who instinctively scurried away after claiming their prize. But Chang Jinxing kept interacting with the fans with a smile on his face.
People often complimented his looks, but it was rare that they did it to his face. It was different on the internet, though. Everyone spoke frankly, no one held back, and they did so in packs, which inflated Chang Jinxing’s vanity.
The viewer count rose from 200 to 2,000. The sudden influx of gawkers told Zheng Weize that he must have made it to the trending list and was now featured on the app’s home page. What could be better than this sudden rise to the top? His popularity was still soaring, and the messages came in so fast Chang Jinxing couldn’t even read them.
“Hm, what should I perform for everyone?” Chang Jinxing had been streaming for nearly an hour, and he was starting to feel dizzy. Live streaming was a job that required not only good looks, but also stamina.
Many streamers became exhausted after focusing for a while and started babbling nonsense. Zheng Weize quickly herded him offline; they said goodbye to their fans and reluctantly ended the stream without ever answering the question about their relationship.
“That was fun.” Chang Jinxing grinned. He was a little tired and, with this having been his first live stream, nervous too. Once the camera was off, he reclined on the bed to relax. Zheng Weize lay down beside him, and Chang Jinxing freed an arm for Zheng Weize to use as a pillow.
“The stream was so lively today!” Zheng Weize exclaimed, in part out of envy and in part out of jealousy. “The viewership was over 6,000 when it ended.”
“Really?” Chang Jinxing felt a little pleased with himself, but he said, “That’s only because you’re so popular.”
Zheng Weize didn’t deny it. Chang Jinxing didn’t know that Zheng Weize’s viewership was closer to two digits without him, but after today, he had a strong sense that live streaming basically just involved meaningless babbling.
“I have to go out now,” said Chang Jinxing. He said nothing about splitting the tips from the gifts they received; to him, the whole endeavor had just been about hanging out with Zheng Weize. In that moment, Zheng Weize was certain he really had fallen for him.
“Okay,” Zheng Weize said. “You gonna be back for dinner?”
“Nah, I’ve got plans with a friend. Bye.”
This conversation could so easily have been an exchange between a couple—it made Zheng Weize feel like they really were one. Then Chang Jinxing pinched Zheng Weize on the cheek, got up, and left. Zheng Weize lay on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, feeling melancholic.
For a while, when they were just starting the live stream, he really saw Chang Jinxing as his lover. He’d boldly hugged Chang Jinxing, which Chang Jinxing was gracious enough to allow, and they touched each other frequently, petting heads or holding hands like a couple. These suggestive gestures made Zheng Weize’s heart flutter—until the broadcast ended, and he returned to reality.
Zheng Weize wistfully pulled up his earnings page and promptly sprang to his feet. ¥4,200! He was shocked. They had earned ¥4,200 from the live stream!
His hand trembled as he clicked the button to withdraw his earnings, but he received a final sum of only ¥3,000 in his account—which was still ¥700 short of the rent. He cursed those unscrupulous capitalists. At least he was one step closer to the rent, though. All he had to do was ask Chang Jinxing to do another live stream and he’d be able to pay the next month’s rent. Maybe he could even pay off the debt on his credit cards, which he’d racked up paying off other bills.
But…Zheng Weize didn’t want to ask Chang Jinxing to do another shipping live stream. He didn’t want Chang Jinxing to feel like he was being used to boost Zheng Weize’s popularity. He knew now that he was in love with Chang Jinxing, and if he wanted to confess his feelings, he would have to maintain equality between them, or at least the appearance of it.
If Chang Jinxing were his boyfriend, Zheng Weize could pull him into a live stream whenever he wanted.
He wavered for a while, then ordered takeout for dinner and got ready for a second round of streaming. When he went online again, even more gawkers and fans showed up to ogle the handsome Star, only to be disappointed when only Zheng Weize materialized. When they saw him reading a book like a monk reciting scriptures, they cyberbullied him and dispersed.
Zheng Weize was none too pleased, but he had to grit his teeth and bear it. Disgruntled with lecherous fans who made impertinent remarks about the man of his dreams, he ended the stream early and switched to his female account.
When all was said and done, most fans were unlikely to unfollow, so his follower count still increased by the thousands—an order of magnitude more people than before. While it wasn’t precisely accurate to say that his popularity skyrocketed with it, at least he now had a glimmer of hope.
Streaming with Chang Jinxing made Zheng Weize realize that he might be able to save the situation another way.
Thus, he set his sights on Chen Hong as his next target. He could do a fan service stream where he got someone to “service” his “fans” by having Chen Hong appear in a gym tank.
“What?” Chen Hong looked utterly bewildered.
He was pumping iron in the home gym. These days, he rarely went out other than to give lessons to a few members, supplementing his income with the meager hourly rates. At home, he read, worked out, and reflected upon himself, lest others accuse him of being all brawn and no brains.
After all, he had to keep active mentally as well as physically.
Zheng Weize sat down beside him. “Have you heard of Sohee Lee?”
Chen Hong gestured for him to say no more. “How many followers does your channel have?”
“Uh… Over 20,000?” Zheng Weize said. In truth, he’d only had a few thousand until last night. More than half of the current number were horndogs Chang Jinxing had lured over the day before.
Hearing this gave Chen Hong a start. “Over 20,000? That many?”
Zheng Weize didn’t dare tell him that they were mostly ghost followers. He came to Chen Hong intending to do a knowledge-sharing session and a casual chat with the fans. Chen Hong didn’t even need to think about it; he agreed at once.
Chen Hong had tried shooting short videos on Douyin and TikTok to promote his classes, hoping to sell some lessons online, but few people went to the gym these days, much less took online classes. He was clueless when it came to short videos and streaming platforms, and had no idea that the key to boosting traffic was to shed his clothes—the more skin he showed, the more views he’d get. He couldn’t cast aside his pride, either, and the videos he filmed in all seriousness raked in only a few dozen to a hundred, tops.
Now that Zheng Weize had offered him a generous opportunity, he readily agreed. That night, he changed his clothes and joined Zheng Weize’s channel as a special guest.
Chen Hong’s appearance elicited a chorus of catcalls. Zheng Weize wanted to play up the bromance with Chen Hong, but that turned out not to be feasible: The juxtaposition of a delicate bottom wrapping his arms around the neck of a muscular man under an array of touch-up and face-slimming effects wouldn’t be as cute as Zheng Weize had thought. It might even make people uncomfortable.
Zheng Weize said, “This is—” “Hi, everyone. I’m Labrador.” Knowing the trick was to cutesify everything, Chen Hong gave himself a stage name. “You can call me Lab.”
Zheng Weize renamed the channel: Xiao-Tu & Lab. According to Zheng Weize’s script, they would start by playing up the “romance” in “bromance” and wait for their online popularity to soar before Chen Hong started dishing out tips on physique. But the fujoshis didn’t buy it. Most of them weren’t interested in muscular men, preferring pretty boys like Chang Jinxing, so they fled the stream, leaving behind a smattering of pervs to chat with them. The viewer count plummeted, but right as Zheng Weize began to worry, the gay army arrived to liven up the stream.
The language they used was a lot blunter and more explicit. At the viewers’ request, Chen Hong generously removed his gym tank top and showed off his chiseled physique. Zheng Weize felt Chen Hong up on the fans’ behalf, touching his chest one moment and pinching the back of his shoulder the next.
Suddenly, Zheng Weize understood the appeal of a compact muscleman. Not “compact” as in the size of Chen Hong’s frame, but the way he’d sculpted his body into a more moderate figure with low body fat, so it didn’t appear overly bulky. Zheng Weize started to think that Chen Hong wasn’t all that bad, after all. Although his looks couldn’t compare to Zheng Weize’s Star, his years of self-discipline had left him with an enviable complexion and a body that looked slim when clothed and muscular when naked.
“‘Gege, how do you usually take care of your hole?’” Chen Hong read. “Well, honey, gege don’t need to do that…” Zheng Weize mouthed a reminder to him that he didn’t need to read every comment, especially not the obscene ones.
Lonely gays flooded the live stream in the middle of the night to flirt with Chen Hong. Slang and anatomical references flew across the screen, along with obscene comments and abbreviations. Yet there were no gifts.
At first, Zheng Weize occasionally prompted them to send gifts to demonstrate their support for the skin show, but eventually, he gave up.
“‘Wanna give u a prostate massage…’” “‘Gege’s boobies…’” “‘…like a woman’s boobs.’” “‘wat shld I eat to grow bigger tits…’” “‘ur dick…’” Chen Hong skipped several comments before picking a normal one.
“‘How do you maintain such a good figure?’ Well, it’s important to stabilize your metabolism if you want to keep your figure. Having the appropriate muscle can increase your body’s energy consumption.” He explained with such earnestness that Zheng Weize’s heart ached a little.
At the end, Chen Hong picked up the white sign he’d prepared and placed it before the camera. “Here’s my contact info on the messaging app.
You can add me for consultations, and feel free to follow my personal page. I regularly share fitness tips there.”
“Please do follow Labrador!” Zheng Weize chimed in.
“‘Where did you find so many handsome guys?’” Chen Hong read.
“Huh? L’il tramp…’” “That was for me,” Zheng Weize explained as he clicked the button on the interface to post a link to Chen Hong’s personal page. Chen Hong rose again to get some water. His pants were pulled low over his hips, revealing his beautiful Apollo’s belt and finally winning a wave of gifts for Zheng Weize.
“All right, it’s almost two,” Zheng Weize said. “Sleep early, everyone. Good night.” He blew them a kiss and ended the stream.
It was now the dead of night. It was raining in Jiangbei. Dressed in thick pajamas, Zheng Weize was tired and sleepy. Chen Hong went to the dining room and retrieved his fitness meal from the refrigerator; they both had yet to eat dinner.
Zheng Weize poured hot water into his cup of instant noodles. “We got ¥700 in gifts. I’ll split it with you.”
“No, no,” Chen Hong said. “No need. I still haven’t thanked you for helping me get more followers.” Zheng Weize insisted, but Chen Hong turned him down and pointed upstairs, telling him to say no more lest he wake the others.
“In that case, I’ll treat you to a meal someday,” Zheng Weize whispered.
“Sure.” Chen Hong smiled and checked his personal page on his phone. Based on the boost in his follower count, it seemed Zheng Weize’s recommendation was working.
Waiting for his instant noodles, Zheng Weize said in hushed tones, “Some of my followers can be pretty abrasive in their language, sorry.
Don’t take it personally.”
“It’s nothing.” Chen Hong was almost thirty years old, nine years Zheng Weize’s senior. He understood the realities of the world they lived in and the desires that lurked deep in many people’s hearts. He was also no stranger to seeing people hurt others because of those desires. So he didn’t take it to heart. “You must encounter more toxicity online than I do. It’s just that you’re young and tend to get fixated.”
Zheng Weize smiled at Chen Hong. “I was definitely bothered by the verbal abuse when I first started live streaming. But I’m all good now.”
During the stream, there had been a few times when Chen Hong had noticed Zheng Weize clearly wanted to lash out but did his best to hold back. He reached out and patted Zheng Weize on the head.
“There were a lot of times when I thought I was used to it, but then a comment or two would leave me feeling terrible, even if I was in a good mood all day. It would totally ruin my night.” They both fell silent. Then, still smiling, Zheng Weize peeled back the foil lid of his instant noodles and added, “You know? When I was in school, the boys in my class always bullied me, calling me a sissy…” “They were just jerks,” Chen Hong said. “Don’t dwell on those memories. They’ll get their comeuppance.”
“Yeah,” Zheng Weize said absently. “They threw my books into the toilet and even put their leftovers in my desk. My health wasn’t very good, so I was slow during our runs, and they’d surround me and shout, ‘Preparing for sissy launch, 360-degree spin,’ and stuff like that.” Even Zheng Weize found it funny now. He laughed.
Chen Hong didn’t laugh, though. “If I were there, I would have beaten them to death,” he said seriously. “People who bully others are scum.” He’d never been the victim of bullying before and never participated in it himself. He was the kind of person who’d step in when he saw a pack of kids taunting cats and dogs, pulling them away and telling them not to bully the weak. His physique gave him a natural sense of justice and responsibility.
Zheng Weize dug into his noodles, and they both went quiet for a while. Zheng Weize’s tears fell soundlessly into the noodle cup. Chen Hong remembered the day when, on returning home, he’d seen Yan Jun crying while hugging Zhang Yuwen. He felt he had to comfort Zheng Weize too, so he went over to his side and gently wrapped his arms around him.
Zheng Weize leaned his head against him, sobbing softly. His tears soaked through Chen Hong’s flimsy gym tank top, revealing the alluring contours of his abdominal muscles.
His abs are so sexy… Zheng Weize thought as he cried.
He wanted so badly to find a boyfriend and pour all his woes out to him.
Note:
(2) One of the main characters of Honoré de Balzac’s La Comedie Humaine, Felix Grandet is an ungenerous penny-pincher.